Monday, February 22, 2021

The Peace and Calmness of the Bay and in Death

 


It has been an interesting week to say the least. Last week, I found out that my older brother David died on Feb. 2nd at 70 years old. We didn't have much of a relationship, he was almost 19 years older than me when I showed up and was out of the house by the time I was 2 and I didn't hear from him until I was 20. We had our own generation gap going there. In 2007, my kids were old enough to be interesting and we had a little relationship going for about four years until 2011. We had a big blowout and even though I tried to repair our relationship over the years and he resisted. In October, I found it he was very sick and tried to call him and tell him that I loved him and was praying for him. He told me some words that Roy Rodgers never used. And I called a couple of times and he never answered. The funny thing is that he hated technology and when we were having a good relationship I bought him a Tracphone so he would have something in case of emergency. He complained at first but he kept that thing and used it from (I want to say) 2008 until his passing three weeks ago.

Even though we had our issues, he was always good to my kids. He never had a family, so he was always doing things for my kids even during the last ten years when we were not talking.

He loved baseball and a huge San Francisco Giants fan and till remember when I took him to what is now Oracle Park for the first time. Of course, I took him to his first  NASCAR race in Sonoma and he didn't become a fan. 

Anyway, he loved nature. It was something that calmed the rage and anger inside him. So, when I heard of his passing I went over to the Alameda Shoreline and walked around and enjoyed the peace and silence and thought of him. I hope that he has found peace he was craving in his life wherever he is and that nobody is sitting in front of him at whatever baseball game he is at:











To my brother Dave, I love you and I hope that you have found the peace that you were searching for.



21 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry to hear this... prayers for the family

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  2. Families are so important, and yet can be so confusing at times. I'm sorry for your loss. Your post made me tear up. We can miss things we had and didn't have, at the same time.

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  3. Sorry for your loss. Family relationships are too complicated sometimes.

    Worth a Thousand Words

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  4. I'm so sorry for your loss. You honored him in a lovely way!

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  5. I am sorry for your loss! You and your family are in my thoughts!

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  6. I am so sorry for your loss. Sending my condolences to you and the rest of your family.

    Those are beautiful photos from the shoreline. I hope these scenes give you a small bit of comfort as you process your grief.

    -Amanda (CatSynth)

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  7. Sorry to hear about your brother Patrick it's strange how relationships turn out sometimes but love always shines through.

    My very best wishes to you

    I liked the photos very apt for the time

    My very best wishes to you from London stay safe 😷😷😷

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  8. I am sorry your brother was unwilling to reconcile, but you know you made an earnest effort to repair your relationship. Take comfort in that, and in nature, which he so loved.
    Thanks for sharing at https://image-in-ing.blogspot.com/2021/02/more-from-last-weeks-peek-at-cedar-creek.html

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  9. So sorry to read of your loss. Families can fall apart, and sad when they do. It was probably heartbreaking that he couldn't get pass whatever happened, but you held out the olive branch. Many condolences. Will say prayers for you.

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  10. I'm so very sorry for your loss, Patrick. I'm also sorry that your relationship with your brother wasn't the best, but it sounds like you tried very hard to make it work.

    Beautiful shots and a great day to give tribute to the brother you love.

    Thank you for joining the Wordless Wednesday Blog Hop.

    Have a fabulous day. ♥

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  11. Thank you, Patrick, for sharing. It's sad but I hope the fact that he still loved your kids was a sign that he hadn't completely rejected you. I think his pride probably got in the way. I prayed when you mentioned that he wasn't well and that he refused to let you speak to him. Sending another prayer your way and for the family.

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  12. I am so sorry for your loss. Sending prayers your way.

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  13. Three weeks ago I lost my youngest sister, and one weeks ago I lost my aunt. It hurts no matter the closeness or the distance of relationships. My heart goes out to you. Much love.

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  14. Patrick, I'm sorry for your loss. Your nature walk is a nice tribute to your brother. I hope it also gives you comfort. #WeekendCoffeeShare

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  15. I am so sorry to read of the death of your brother and that the relationship was challenging in many ways. I liked the gentle and loving way you found to remember him in nature. Take care, Denyse #weekendcoffeeshare

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  16. Sincere condolences for your loss. I also have a brother whom does not seem to want a relationship with me. And while it grieves me, I try to take solace in knowing I can't force myself on him. You have done a beautiful job honoring your brother here.

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  17. I can definitely relate and you have my condolences. I always wondered what made people so angry all the time or defensive.*sigh*

    Your link is a great addition to 'My Corner of the World' this week!

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  18. Such a beautiful way to honor your brother, Patrick. I am so sorry to hear of your loss and your strained relationship but how wonderful of you to share both the good and the bad to keep things real. I really admire that he stayed close to your kids even if the two of you struggled to find common ground. May he rest in peace.

    Shelbee
    www.shelbeeontheedge.com

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  19. I'm so sorry for your loss, Patrick. What a beautiful way to pay tribute to him, I could feel the calmness through the images. Keeping you and your family in my prayers.

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